Razor Burn- and the Joys of Becoming a Man

joefus @ 2004-10-16T21:02:00

2004-10-17T02:03:47Z

First Student Congress tournament is over, with Deerfield winning (of course). I pulled out with five speeches, which earned me a second best speaker medal. w00t.

joefus @ 2004-10-14T22:12:00

2004-10-15T03:13:41Z

I bought (and am starting to read) Homer's The Illiad. What's going to be great about it? No Brad Pitt's ass, that's what. I TOLD you I was gonna read it lizzeh!

joefus @ 2004-10-10T18:10:00

2004-10-10T23:31:51Z

Yes, I'm finally updating.

Homecoming-

So I woke up feeling like I was going to throw up, inconveniently at 6:25 in the morning. I forgot to turn off my damn alarm clock. I had pancakes, which was awesome, but no bacon, which sucked. I then had to go all around town getting my shirt and tie, which after searching for a week I finally got my burgandy shirt which Men's Warehouse finally got in stock. I'm seriously considering getting a job at. Afterwards, my mom decided to go to this women's spiritual convention thingy in which she and several other women (whom several of which were lesbians) proceeded to dance and play drums. I was very amused when my mom broke her drum from hitting it too hard. I then I had polish my shoes and iron my shirt, all while eating dinner and showering. Then it was off to Lily's.

To put it very gently, she looked resplendent. She was wearing a strapless black dress, which I was later instructed by her mom to pull up if it ever showed her bra. It was good she told me this, because this happened at least 20 times over the course of the night. Then we had to take pictures, which was very amusing because with Lily's shoes she was close to my height- her heels were 4". Anyways, my gorgeous date and I headed on over to Lizzeh's, and met up with her and Dylan. Dylan and I were both clad in our new Men's Warehouse clothes, and we were the secret service but better. James Bond, dare I say ;). We all shmoozed, took pictures, and then I was nagged that I had to dance. I felt veerry, veeeery bad because I was the only one who didn't have a clue when it came to dancing. Not my courtroom. Anyways Lizzeh and Lileh did their whole smoldering temptress thing, which Dylan and I countered. I think we took the take there.

Afterwards we cruised over to the dance blaring Vagner, which felt very good in its own right. Lily took me all around the dance floor while she shmoozed, then our group danced. Yep, even I did too. I'm not saying I was good at it, because I was god-awful. The dance was very fun beyond that- I saw many things that made me laugh.

1). Heffez going with my ex.
2). Lizzee and Dylan waltzing, tangoing, twisting, etc.
3). I shit you not a transvestite.
4). Netanya giving David Ames a boner from grinding, and then him looking around so as not to get "caught" by a wandering eye.

So we all left afterwards and went back to Lily's house (after I gave my coat to Lily, with Dylan scoring brownie points and copying me), and tried to watch Hollywood Homicide. Nobody liked it, so Lily put on emo (blech). Originally we had one conversation going, but the couples split up into their own conversations. Now I was very happy to see Dylan and Lizzee shnoozeling (this does not mean kissing, don't get any ideas), and it was blatantly blatant that they are going to date very heavily (this is just what I saw people). Eventually we had to leave, and the day was over. My feet hurt.

It was very sweet.

*On a side note, today my mom tells me she won and I-pod mini at this work conferency thingy and I got it.*

joefus @ 2004-09-28T16:48:00

2004-09-28T21:49:45Z

2001 Grey Honda Civic.
Sun roof.
CD Player.
Not a scratch.

All mine- getting it tommorow or Thursday.

I'm getting a car.

joefus @ 2004-09-26T19:20:00

2004-09-27T02:20:32Z

Take the quiz: "WHAT RELIGION BESTS SUITS YOU?"

Atheist
You are Godless! You could care less about religion. As far as you're concerned, if you can't see, touch and kick something, it's not real to you. You're day-to-day activities consist of eating, working, sleeping and the occasional Internet or coffee shop debate. Lastly, if anyone chooses to preach at you otherwise, you will either leave or debate them until they finally shut up.

joefus @ 2004-09-01T21:59:00

2004-09-02T03:00:06Z

Clear the road- I'm 15.

joefus @ 2004-08-28T10:38:00

2004-08-28T15:39:23Z

i just found out my dad's birthday present- October 30th i'm heading over to Northwestern's homecoming game against Purdue. oh yes.

joefus @ 2004-08-23T12:56:00

2004-08-23T17:56:40Z

My Lileh was on TV!

My Incredible Last Day of Work

2004-08-22T21:39:30Z

It's over. I am no longer a lifeguard at the most aweful Deerspring pool. I have to say that I would have kept working if all days had been as my last one.

My day started as usual- I couldn't ride my bike the short way along Deerfield because of the construction, so I had to ride the long way through a *secret* path to Evan's house (shortcut near the special people school). Anyways, upon arriving the cashier (Nathan Parker) informed me that a bird had stuck itself in the camp room and was pooping all over. Later on he invited a buddy over to catch it, which they did and upon doing so they locked it in a Kleenex box (it later escaped, no worries). Anyways the day was very, very lazy in terms of guarding from that point on. Few people were there, so all the guards were either tanning/flirting. On the bright side we mooched a couple of squirt gun type squirty things from the kiddie pool and shot each other with them, which was fun. I had a lot of fun telling Harry he likes to "get shot in the eye" [;)]. Yeah it was bad, but still very funny and necessary. For lunch my mom brought me over a couple hotdogs from Michael's, so that made my day better.

The day started getting VERY fun when my new cashier buddy Nathan(who for some reason brought an unusually large knife to work) found a golf club in the dumpster. To be more specific, a driver. Of course being guys we naturally preceded to start hitting stuff all over the parking lot that we had dug up from garbages/the lost and found (now lost and destroyed). The best part was taking one of the guard's used root beer bottles and smashing it all over the parking lot. We did clean it up, making us a step-up from assholes though. A few other misc. objects were scattered all over the parking lot such as baby bottles, and it was all good.

After Nathan left, it was reaaaaly boring for awhile (except for when I got to be manager for five minutes when Debbie left [w00t]). Keegan came back with a whole 2 pints of ice cream he mooched/stole from Baskin Robbins which we fiercely devoured. Now the day hit its climax in a sort of battle between Harry (Papadakis) and Keegan (Klauke). Keegan, like many of the closeted metrosexual apprentices of Big Fat Gay Nick, had taken a shower in the guys bathroom and had walked into the guard office (when it was empty) in just a towel. Upon seeing this vulnerability Harry dashed inside and began in a quest to remove the towel (ulterior motives unknown). I, not wanting to see this, swapped guarding spots with Debbie (the manager), who did in fact want to see this. Checking back inside the office from the windows (which thankfully cut off everyone from above the waist) I noticed that Harry did manage to remove the towel, meaning several things:

1). Keegan was nekkid
2). Keegan was nekkid
3). Keegan was nekkid
4). The 4 female guards whom had gathered at the door to the guard office(Keely, Lydia, Debbie, Britney) were privileged to seeing poor Keegan in full frontal glory
5). A lucky (you'll see why) female pool attendent, in her late 60's, got to see Keegan nekkid as well

Poor, poor Keegan was nekkid in front of the entire female guard population. He of course proceeded to beat the shit out of Harry as soon as he had gotten dressed, much to my delight (no guy deserves that, sorry). Then it was all good.

After that, I arrived home to find that Evan was already there for the sleepover and we farted around for the rest of the night (quite literally on his part, less on mine). I got to talk with Lileh for awhile afterwards, which always makes my day no matter what's happening. So anyways- lovely day.

joefus @ 2004-08-22T00:58:00

2004-08-22T05:58:59Z

Work is fucking OVER. Will give more details in regards to last day tommorow, Evan is over right now. w000t

joefus @ 2004-08-20T11:48:00

2004-08-20T16:51:25Z

Oh yes... due to the inclement weather Deerspring has been closed for the day. I've got 8 hours left tommorow (and will probably have those seriously cut short), and then I'm done forever!!! Only downside... Lily already made plans for today. Damn erratic schedule of mine. Bright side- me and Evan are going up to Games Workshop today. This day just got much, much better.

joefus @ 2004-08-19T23:57:00

2004-08-20T04:59:28Z

jesuschristmonkeyballs......... COLD... the greatest band of ALL TIME (let me dream!), has signed a contract w/ Atlantic records and is RECORDING their new album for a decemberish release date....... I HAVE ANSWERED MY PRAYERS (meh jokes just don't get old at midnight)

oh yes... and they're going to go back on tour again!!! and guess who's gonna be SIXTEEN this time? the boozers can't keep me away anymore! muahaha

joefus @ 2004-08-19T23:15:00

2004-08-20T04:19:08Z

Lunchies- we all need to have a pre-school parTAY on Monday... we need to have lunch at Dylan's or something. I'd suggest my place, but it's out in the frickin' desert.

joefus @ 2004-08-17T22:05:00

2004-08-18T03:07:33Z

Oh my f*cking god...... augh..... terrible....... my sister was out walking bear..... at night...... bushes ruffled..... my dog....got.... SKUNKED... It is sooooooo bad. It's like a mix of burning rubber and onions..... it's terrible. Oh.... my....... *barfs* god... my poor puppy is skunked... Ewww.

joefus @ 2004-08-17T16:07:00

2004-08-17T21:11:16Z

One week till school... I think nothing is as clear a testament to how much I dislike my job as the fact that I want to go back. Badly.

I left work an hour early when Nick asked who wanted to go home... I was being paid to sit on my ass and do nothing and I still wanted to go home. I f*cking hate work. Wasted summer.

joefus @ 2004-08-13T17:11:00

2004-08-13T22:18:43Z

Oh yes, here is the rest of my schedule for the rest of the year as a lifeguard. Sorry, but it's non-negotiable. I can't get a sub for ANY days.

Sat: 7:30-9a, 1-9p
Sun: 8-10:30a
Mon: zilch
Tue: 1-5p, 7-9p
Wed: 1-5p
Thu: 1-5p, 7-9p
Fri: 10a-5p

SORRY about Saturday everyone, I called 9 diff people to see if I could get a sub. I can't. Most days are prob going to be reserved for dates too...... so let's make plans for next week.

joefus @ 2004-08-13T17:06:00

2004-08-13T22:10:57Z

All right I don't even begin to know how I'm going to list my schedule... god damn SOB schedule no lunchy party evil management. Argh. Anyways

EB- Chem w/ Plata
1- Chem w/ Plata
2- Soph Eng w/ Mueller
3- Hon World Hist w/ Grady R
4- Hon Span 5-6 w/ Argyros
5- Political Sci w/ Schachter (the same one???)
6- Alg/Trig 3-4 w/ Credit
8- Traffic Safety w/ Zima

Lunchies we have to see when (if :[) we'll be together. Looks like we're gonna have to do a lot of weekend stuff during the year.

joefus @ 2004-08-11T23:25:00

2004-08-12T04:34:13Z

Lily is back!!!

Evan is leaving :(

Lizzie is leaving :(

Anyways Lily and I had a date today- we tried to watch the Notebook, but were bored out of our minds and went over to the Village. You're not getting details beyond that. Anyways I've got like a week of work left (and payday is Friday :]), which is great because I'm really starting to hate work. Not that the job sucks, it's just that the people do. I'm most def. not working there again next year. School starts in 2 weeks... first year I've looked forward to it. And then I remember that it's just a gathering of Netanyists. Argh.

joefus @ 2004-08-08T07:56:00

2004-08-08T12:59:59Z

So yes... it's been awhile since I've updated. Not as if nothing has happened- plenty has. For starters- lessons are absolutely positively done. I'm pissed at my kids- none of the little bastards got me a present. My cousins both came up from Denver on Sunday, and left on Friday. It was relatively fun, but I'm a guy who values his free time. I hate having to entertain people who are not on the same level as me in relation to what we're doing. Besides that, I really haven't been up to too much (or can't remember what I have been). Lily gets back in 4 days.... w00t!

Oh yes and all you lunchies we all need to do something this weekend.

joefus @ 2004-07-31T16:38:00

2004-07-31T21:41:18Z

Only TWO more days of lessons! YES!!! My cousins are here Tues-Thurs, so that's 3 days I get to MISS! And then Lily comes BACK!!!

joefus @ 2004-07-27T09:05:00

2004-07-27T14:06:32Z

Interactive website- tell a man in a chicken suit to play with his cockel and see what happens!

http://www.subservientchicken.com/

joefus @ 2004-07-22T19:59:00

2004-07-23T01:00:41Z

Feeling a little left out in the new presidential campaign? Not quite sure who to pick? Surely this video will influence your views one way or another...

http://atomfilms.shockwave.com/contentPlay/shockwave.jsp?id=this_land&preplay=1&ratingBar=off

Funny as hell all.

joefus @ 2004-07-21T20:59:00

2004-07-22T02:13:05Z

All right, summing up the last two days...

Yesterday: I skipped work- I felt really sick in the morning so decided not to go. Turned out I just had a reeaaaallly bad case of gas or something because after a BM I felt fine. Then I went over to Evan's for the rest of the day. We played a couple games of 40k, listened to music (MODEST MOUSE RULES!!!), and played a couple of computer games. Then we went to the Ram restaurant (how can a sign have both "Go Sox" and "Go Cubs"?).

Today: I went to work, which was awesome! Britney wasn't there!!! YES!!! Anyways, the other reason it was awesome was as I mentioned earlier I hadn't been at lessons yesterday so one of my kids wrote me a card! It said "I hope you feel better soon. Love, Joshua". My kids CARE about me! That made my day there, but then after lessons Thorguard went off. Everyone had to leave, but we all stayed to clean the locker rooms. One of the guards Nick Earheart (NOT BIG FAT GAY NICK) threw me over his shoulder and started running to the pool while I was hosing off the deck, so I stuck the hose up his shorts on full blast [LOL]. He didn't stop, and I went in with full clothes on. After we finished cleaning we got to use the "aquatic facilities" in inappropriate ways (water slide head first on our backs down all the way!). Good stuff. The last 3 1/2 hours were terrible- just me guarding COHO. I hate being alone, because I start thinking of all my lunchies and then realize how miserable I am without you guys. I miss ALL OF YOU! Not happy thoughts. After a 12 (TWELVE) hour day, I got to go home. Oh yes, I got some more hours:
-Saturday: 4-7 pm

P.S.- How am I a perv??? I read that Lizzeh! Argh.
I miss you Lily :(.

joefus @ 2004-07-19T16:33:00

2004-07-19T21:35:18Z

EVAN IS BACK!!!

BotD- White w/ yellow and black baseballs.

joefus @ 2004-07-19T14:01:00

2004-07-19T19:02:55Z

I got new hours... Wednesday from 1-8:30 pm. (This Wednesday, the 21st). EVAN GETS BACK TODAY!!! At like 5ish.

EVERYONE needs to see the music video for the song "No One Knows" by Queens of the Stone Age. It's frickin hillarious.

http://boss.streamos.com/wmedia/interscope/qotsa/songsforthedeaf/video/nooneknows/000_nooneknows.asx

This is one of my favs, so you know it's good.